I am thrilled to have you here. Welcome – My name is Neman Ashraf.
I have been serving in Police department as a constable for last 17 years. Being right at the very bottom of food chain, I honestly don’t have anything to brag about my professional career. While detectives solve heinous crimes — I do guard duties, dispatch messages and every other thing associated with the job description.
For over two decades I have surfed the web like there’s no tomorrow. Having this never-ending thirst for what, how & when….. The world-wide web proved to be the finest teacher. For years, I watched, communicated and observed. I kept embracing everything that made sense to my dumb little brain. A truly fantastic experience.
Also, I happen to be suffering with excessive daydreaming since childhood. I love to spend hours imaging all things unholy ha ha, Kidding. But seriously, I can remember daydreaming about romance in teens, a decade later about money and Now I daydream about a peaceful and relaxing life. I guess this keeps evolving to fulfill my needs. Damn! I just realized this while writing.
I grew up in a lower middle class family. My parents, even with their limited resources took care of me and my siblings the best they could. I remember being a bright student in every class and scoring top positions was not a big deal. Things changed when I enrolled in to college. I couldn’t handle the freedom and save myself from bad society. Result, I left college and at that moment…. sealed my fate!
I successfully resisted parent’s every attempt to get me back on track. I wasn’t the same little boy after all. Best they could do was either yell or request….which didn’t work.
Joined Police force as a Constable as I had no college degree to apply for a better rank. The very first duty I remember was guarding a mosque. Me standing outside a mosque, carrying a big-ass rifle for 12 straight hours. It only took a jiffy for me to realize that I have fucked up real bad. I tried quitting but could see no better option. Best Job I could get with my qualification was either a waiter or some office boy. I had already lost the will to study and frankly my parents were not in the position to support me anyway. My father was retired.
I could sense disappointment I’ve caused them. It tore me.
So I started making compromise with my life. Another fatal mistake. I could have funded for private studies but didn’t. I don’t want to say this…. but I had lost faith. Years passed while I remained Idle. I would see people around me getting successful in life and this kept killing me inside. I understand they deserved it since they actually made a go at their goals.
In response to that, I structured the toughest dome possible and shrunk myself into it. Just like a frog in the well. I remained online every minute while at home, reading what others had to say, watching English movies, TV shows & documentaries, chatting with anyone who seemed interesting. I happily made time to sit/lay Idle for hours daydreaming. My weird yet perfect little world helped me survive through horrors and disappointments of the reality.
Reality… that I am not living up to my full potential.
Got married in between and was blessed with 2 amazing children. An eight years old daughter who is brighter than I’ll ever be. And a boy named Shayan, he’s almost 4 and yet he keeps wreaking havoc in the home. Their intellect surprises me. I am truly grateful for having them in my Life.
As I see them grow and start their own quest to face life. It struck me… what if they turn out just like me? what if they also prefer becoming a wuss instead of facing challenges to make their way throughout. This thought scared me in all honesty. I cannot let them stay back and compromise with life turning situations because of laziness or cowardice like their own father. I can see that quality of life I am providing them would just create another couple of mediocre human beings.
This cannot happen and for that I have to kick myself hard and break this imaginary dome surrounding me. I will not fail them as I did to my Parents. Even if that requires moving heaven and earth.
Enough of yada yada. Why blogging?
For quite some time now. I have been seriously considering to write online.
A blog is the best way to communicate with the world while successfully creating personal brand. To me, It is a composite of self recognition, passion and probably salvation. A perfect medium to learn and share.
Though much time is wasted already. I am not that energetic anymore, coping with hypertension. loads of crap to deal with everyday but enthusiasm is there and my will is strong. I started writing on Quora and response was encouraging. Words of appreciation and support made me realize I can do it.
I want to share my story, regrets and experience with you while understanding perfectly that personal bloggers can indulge in to narcissism easily. Yet I hope you will find my voice unique, my stories entertaining and my opinion informative.
Why you might want to read me?
A tough sell. How does a person convince you to read their blog when he just explained what an utter failure he actually has been. Ironic… I know. I am willing to write about:
- Chronicles – A Policeman’s life inside and out with a hint of wit and grit. Amusement guaranteed.
- Community Policing – Crimes, mindset of criminals and how I can be some help by presenting simple yet effective safety measures you might want to consider.
- Motivation – Again big pill to swallow. In my writing I will share personal accounts of regrets and failures that I hope will inspire growth in you as a person and believer. I hope i will be able to deliver bits of motivation to those who are not “taking it seriously“. There are countless people like me who will turn up just like me until they realize “nothing happens until you move“.
I’d like to thank you as you’ve made till the end. I appreciate it. Feel free to contact if you have any question or advice for me. I can also be reached via facebook or twitter. It wasn’t easy to make an analysis of myself and present it to you unedited. To be honest, it actually saddened me for remembering everything, I kept ignoring for years. But I have to face my demons in hope for the better.